A Year In Pictures: Day 133 - 135

There is a reason I have not posted for a few days. One. I have not felt like it. And two, nothing really happened. 

I went Monday to the doctor with a nasty sinus virus and no voice. 

Stayed in bed all day yesterday. 

And today, I am still voiceless with a lot of coughing. 3 days of antibiotic and still running a fever, 

I have one more day to get better. I have weekend plans. Actually I have plans tomorrow too… so I have overnight to get better. So off I go to get well.

A Year In Pictures: Day 132

I spent Mother’s day at my mom’s. It was a wonderful day. The kids had a blast. 

We walked around the yard, me with my camera. By yard, I mean a HUGE yard, that you can walk around in for an hour looking at plants and trees. Here are some pictures I took today in my mom’s yard. 

The picture above is a Sweet Shrub or Sweet Bubbies. Each flowers smells different. Some smells like apple, others banana, and other pears. 

I do not have an SLR camera so my camera speed is less that ideal for shooting birds. So this is the best I could do for this hummingbird. They move rather fast. 

This is a Rhododendron, West Virginia’s state flower. This is actually the bud, before it has bloomed. 

A Year In Pictures: Day 130 and 131

Yesterday I continued my spring cleaning. I did the living room. I have 4 rooms down, 7 more to go and a few closets… plus the garage, although I have it halfway done. And the deck, I need to power wash it and stain it. I also need to get my flower beds done. 

But today I bought my yearly flowers for my deck. Once of these are for my mommy for mother’s day. Plus I have 3 other that someone bought for me to add. So my deck should be colorful. 

Ok, so this new trend has been brought to my attention. It is a new beach wear called the C-String. Is it just me or does this just look like a woman is wearing a maxipad?

And guys, don’t feel left out. They make them for you too. 

A Year In Pictures: Day 129

To say it was a rough start to the day would be an understatement. But here I am, done with my day. 

I did some Spring Cleaning. The dining room has been emptied, cleaned from top to bottom and reassembled. Luckily there is not much in the room. 

Now, to lie here and relax the rest of the evening. Hope your day is going well. 

The day started out on a good note. Woke up in minor pain. I was heavy handed on the muscle relaxers yesterday and finally started to see some improvement.

I woke up with a sore throat but that’s about it. That and mild muscle pain. Had a great morning getting Hannah ready for school. We laughed and played. She was eager to wear her pretty yellow dress.

All was good. We started driving to school and it hit. Within 10 seconds I could barely function. I was nauseated, pain in my pancreas and back. It hit fast and it hit hard.

I almost pulled over a couple of times but was just a minute from school.
Made it safely there. I was shaking do bad. Made it inside and to the bathroom in time to throw up… kinda. More of a dry heave.

I was trying to keep Hannah calm but could not talk. I was unable to walk her to hang up her back pack. She was a good girl and walked back by herself and came back.

I got her to the lunchroom. The lunch lady who is a sweet heart came running to me. I had not said a word but I looked like crap and she knew something was terribly wrong. I assured her I would be fine.

I just needed to make it home.

I got home and thought a few cracker and 7-up might help. Despite what some people think, pancreatitis can hit on on empty stomach.

I ate 4 oyster crackers And 3 sips of 7-up. Only to return it shortly there after.

So no food for me. Liquids only and even that gets thrown up.

But the bad thing is I have to take my muscle medication. Not only because my muscles need them but because baclofen is a bad drug to suddenly stop taking. And this is for normal people. The FDA recommends the max dosage of 80 and I am taking 160 a day. (Yes this is dr approved)

Withdrawal symptoms may include auditory hallucinations, visual hallucinations, tactile hallucinations, delusions, delirium, disorientation, fluctuation of conciseness perceptual disturbances, hypertonia, hyperthermia, formal thought disorder, psychosis, mania, tachycardia, seizures, tremors, autonomic dysfunction, hyperpyrexia, extreme muscle rigidity resembling neuroleptic malignant syndrome and rebound spasticity.

So I have to be able to keep this medicine down. Prayers please that I can. Otherwise it’s the hospital for IV baclofen.

It has been 10 minute and so far so good. Lying perfectly still.

The pain is still intense but not as bad. Still shaking.

I am pulling Hannah out of school early so her dad can get her before he goes to work and bring her home. No way can I drive.

Right now my MS and pancreas are teaming up in me. So it will be a day in bed for me. Guess my body is forcing me to rest.

But I am sure once I get my babies home they will take good care if me. I am sure a hula hula massage is in store for me later today. :)

A Year In Pictures: Day 124 - 128

Saturday I helped Allison redo her wardrobe. We emptied out her drawers and closet and packed up clothes and reorganized. 

No, Hannah did not help, but she can’t possibly allow a picture to be taken without her in it. 

Sunday Allison went to get an aquarium with Preeya, they are going to get tadpoles and grow them into frogs. 

Monday was a messed up day. School buses were running late because of a downed power line. Actually a truck carrying a large piece of equipment brought down power, phone, and cable lines. 

This made for quite a headache as this is the ONLY road through Cross Lanes. No side streets to get around. 

Yesterday I redid Hannah’s clothes and her entire room. I took the decals from Allison’s room and put them in Hannah’s. Allison is almost a teenager and is starting to want to decorate more teenagerish. 

These lovely decals came from the lovely Ms. Donna Firsty. 

Today was a day I’d like to forget. I attempted to go out simply because the pain was going to persist no matter what. All I see are clouds… but I am hoping there is sun behind those clouds that come out soon. I need break from the clouds, from the pain. 

And that has been my life the last 5 days. 

I hate myself when I am in this pain. I hate who I become. I guess one of the hardest things to deal with are the people who try to help. I know they mean well and yet I let their words sting.

I woke up in pain… again. More than I feel I can bear any longer. If someone comes to you like that, to be honest all we need to know is you care and hate that you are going through it. Not how we are lucky to have things in our lives.

We don’t need to hear how you would deal with it. How you always find the bright side of things. How can you even begin to say that when you have never been in pain for days and weeks and months and years.

It has been about 2 weeks of not only non stop pain… but excruciating non stop pain.

No need to respond to this. Just listen when I tell you, if you have a loved one who deals with relentless pain, sometimes they just need you to listen. They don’t need to hear that they are lucky that they are not terminal. Or how there are others in worse pain.

I am lucky. I have my family. I am not dying. But in this moment the pain is so bad I don’t want to exist. I just want 10 minutes without pain.

So please, be patient with loved ones who hurt. Be careful with the “advice” you dole out. Trust me, we have heard it all and tried most all of it.

Sometimes we just need someone to just let us be weak for a day. Stop trying to expect us to be strong all the time. Even heroes have the right to bleed.